MisUnderstood!!!

Boy, I have had a bad day today.

It was full of things that haven't

bugged me in a while. I just can't seem to feel that my

life has been worth something. And today just put another

nail in our I was feeling.

It seems like that nobody understands that little Karen Clark Hill wants to feel needed. Most people just don't understand me at all!! But when I try to help it just seems that I'm a pest or in the way. Then when I just sit back then most of the people that I'm around feel that I can't do anything. This keeps happening over and over again. I know what you are thinking that I just get to quit feeling sorry for myself. Well most of the people I'm around have never lived in my shoes. They can't say that. You trying being a 24 year old with two babies, working, and trying to keep your head above water. And then trying to be 47 years old and being a lone. Can any of the people that knows me really well can say that they know how all this feels. NO!!! They just keep telling me how I'm suppose to feel and what I'm suppose to do. I hope most of you never have live like I do. You know there are two things that I can say about my life. And that is that I have raise two daughters that have caring in their heart. They are fun to be with. I'm proud that I have two daughters that know when people are needing caring and loving. This is important to me. I'm sure that the people that I am around a lot will read this and say oh, Karen is having a pitty party. But I do want to feel needed. Most of you feel that because you have people around you all the time. So you don't know how it feels. Be a lone is sick! I had a daughter that needed to work on things for her self, and she did some things on the computer for me. I had another daughter that felt that I needed a friend tonight so she went to a show instead of doing what she wanted. They will never know how much their mother needed this today!!!!! Their dad was this way. Giving, caring and loving unconditionally. I wish more of us could be this way. When somebody is this way it awesome. It takes some of us a long time to work up to loving unconditionally. I know that I have two grandchildren that love unconditionally and I hope that they will keep this in their hearts for a long time. I wish that I was closer to some people. It is sad that when you feel like you are being a good friend, that things fall apart. It seems when I do my genealogy I feel needed. I'm not sure why sometimes I'm doing it but I do. Life has been I feel hard, I hope one day I will understand why?

You ask why I write this. Is because I think that in this life, we need to slow down and remember that we are here on earth to learn, grow, and get back to where we came from. And I believe we are not going to be asked how much money did we make, or how many clubs were you the head of, or were you the President of the USA. I think those things are great goals, but I think that we are going to be asked - How did you treat your fellow man or women? Where you caring? Did you help your neighbor with out anger? Did you care for people that you were called to serve? I think goals and being a part of a club, or organization is great. But how were we to the people that we were with? In a neighborhood, family and so on. Life is to short not to have people and compassion in them. No I'm not perfect in this I have a long way to go but I just feel that a lot of us are pushing a way family, friends and the important things of life.

I'm not a writer so this is hard for me to express. But I hope I have been even one person think about others, and what is important in life. I hope that one day I will find what I'm suppose to of learned from all that has happened to me in my life. CARING, LOVING, COMPASSION AND MAKING SURE WE ARE A GOOD PERSON FIRST IS THE WAY TO LIVE!